I just bought some vinyl albums in a second hand store in Oxford; T Rex, Dolly Parton, Francoise Hardy, David Essex, Queen, 10CC and Cliff. Yes Cliff! What's so funny? The guy who worked in the second hand record store was laughing in my face. So I bought six Cliff albums, just to piss him off. I haven't got to play any of them yet, but I'm sure they're good. Not as good as David Cassidy, but still. "Power to all our friends", remember? No? What about "Soft as a summer shower" by David Cassidy? No? Well, it doesn't matter.

They are finishing a new tunnel not far from where I live, and round the tunnel there's a huge space of concrete that I really want to decorate. So I called them and asked if I could, but they said no. They had other plans. Well, it's their loss. I'm not bitter. Maybe I'll go and decorate it anyway. In the middle of the night. Bring some friends, have a few beers and give them a surprise they'll never forget.